Selfish: (adj.) devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s
own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others
There are countless instances in life when one has to be selfish. Unfortunately, others often view selfishness with negativity. However, when it comes to intimate relationships, being selfish can be viewed as a necessity due to the fact that your happiness is vital to a successful relationship.
I have seen a number of ladies fail to recognize the signs of an unhealthy and unhappy relationship. These signs include but are not limited to: making excuses for your other half constantly, frequent arguments that often lead to yelling or tears, and letting yourself be controlled by your partner. Further, it’s an issue if you find yourself putting more effort into the relationship than your partner is. In a relationship with issues like these, the chance that you aren't as happy as you could be is rather high.
I recognize that it is hard to go from having someone to being single, but you can’t live life afraid of being alone. There’s a reason people say that there are so many fish in the sea. Not only are there many options; there are also better options.
Don't get me wrong, I’m not saying that one person is better than another; I’m just saying that there’s always someone who will be better for you than another.
Thus, if you are considering your happiness with someone, try to look at it logically and objectively. Don’t ‘settle’. Fight your desire to stay because that is oftentimes the easier and more comfortable decision. Fight the fact that your mind tends to linger on the good times together. Fight the ideology that your partner will change one day. Honestly, people only change when they want to change themselves.
If it’s not a blessing; it’s a lesson.
Every relationship is a learning experience so there’s no need to have any regrets. Whether you are with someone for four months or four years, you take away something from it. It’s through these experiences that one learns what you want from someone else and what you expect from them for the relationship to prosper. Be confident knowing what satisfies you within a relationship.
As the saying goes, “You don’t tiptoe into love; you fall into it.” Each and every person will find his or her match; it may just take some time. When you do find that someone, you’ll just know it’s right because this relationship won’t have the same issues that your past relationships may have had.
Remember, no relationship is perfect. It's true that every relationship, not matter how strong, requires a lot of work and sacrifice. But, overall, being selfish is the initial key to finding a relationship where you and your partner will be happy and bring out the best in one another.
Photography: Weheartit (Across the Universe, Vampire Diaries, South Park)